Simile, hyperbole, metaphor, idiom: Ray Hudson should be mandatory in all ‘creative writing’ courses.
Messi scored the winner against Real Madrid last Sunday and Ray’s celebration was epic.
"The menacing man arrives and sinks his flaming spear into the hearts of Real Madrid ……………..born in the crossfire hurricane, and he is jumping jack flash right here.............. Messi, you could drop a Tarantula into his shorts and he'd still be cool………………… As cool as the seeds inside of a cucumber".
Earlier he described Messi ‘s finish as “cleaner than Neutrogena” and “ wonderful control. He tattoos the ball to his feet.”
Mind you it’s hard to beat some of the praise he had previously showered on Messi, here’s a few more:
“Defenders try to follow him on Facebook and he comes out on Twitter.”
“He burgulates the defence. He violates the intrusion. And in football, it’s legal!”
“Messi needs help like a shark needs a dentist”