Emptied.
The house.
Home.
Gone.
Those years.
That life.
Numb.
The walls.
Myself.
Poetry by Irish poet Michael O'Dea. (poems © Michael O’Dea, Dedalus Press, Amastra-n-Galar, Lapwing Publications)
Page:
a confessional, a dilemma;
what will I say
dear blankness?
Somehow a page is too white to be truthful,
and fiction is a betrayal;
every time I confront the white page,
I 'm at the fork in the road before honesty.
A stone skimmed across the water pauses a moment
to imagine wings.
In the same moment a mayfly, among half a million
wings flickering golden sunlight,
is gathered into the jaws of a granite-speckled trout.
A man in an artist’s workshop is studying the camed
window of a mayfly’s wing, marvelling at its beauty
at the same moment; the trout’s teeth crushes the wings
that flickered golden sunlight.
The stone sinks.
I am part of a lake becalmed. Sitting here, oak woods my collar,
feet paddling November leaf litter, mind deep in the reflection
of tree trunks; further out, the tracery of their ash grey branches
grading to the cumulus ruminations of an overcast Donegal sky.
I am among those branches, an intricacy of neurons, still as a blackbird
considering the world from a height; song silent now, but full inside;
I am among those trunks, quiet nimble-eyed fox peering out from shadows,
brimming with the present but with only the faintest gleam off my scales.
Among Ireland's most beautiful and impressive sights are the limestone walls of Inis Oirr. Fields paved with karst limestone cleared to a labyrinthine landscape that's just incredible to behold. The walls for the most part fall into two categories of construction: lace walls and Feiden walls. You can get a good description of these walls at https://www.amusingplanet.com/2015/04/the-stone-walls-of-ireland.html
The Walls of Inis Oirr
How these walls speak, like poetry, of the land and its people;
how carefully the stones, like words, chosen to fit,
how beautiful their construction, coloured to their place.
The stone that paved the fields, now brimming with sky;
the lace walls of Inis Oirr, nets for seaweed fertiliser,
alive with limestone clouds chasing powder blue patches
across stanzas laden with western light, air and water.
Or feiden walls with their tightly packed words leaning left,
then right; words rhyming with themselves and their landscape;
for all the world, like a singsong on a bus coming late-night from
the pub, as close to merry as ever a poem could ever be, and still
following the lilt of the land as Yeats might have dreamed it.
Your face distorted
through the rain-running glass;
shop lights
flowing down your hair and shoulders;
the harsh neons,
the dull tungsten tea-coloured;
Main Street mermaid circa 1967,
the town a cascading shawl.
When I search through the files,
the dog-eared memories; thumb right through
to the darkest corners of my mind,
that’s all I can find of you.
When the snow is going,
time is melting;
think deforming clocks.
Spoons stretching their necks
into slime thin slimness
craning downwards,
examining where to
drop
with silver spherical absorption
and cup hooks
with feelings, straining
to hold onto water.
When words fail,
sing;
magnet
for all those filings,
splintered thoughts;
sing the lasso
of a familiar song,
draw in those fond memories
together.
In memory of my mother
What to say, what words to pick;
words so freely scattered, now
that she was breathing fitfully, within
minutes of leaving her life,
leaving those she loved for the love
she had prayed all her days,
and these words, if she could hear,
the last words she would ever hear.
How we struggled to find a way of saying
we love you, be happy to be journeying,
approaching the God of her life-long devotion.
How to put love, comfort, encouragement
into uncertain, dismayed voices;
to put words that were special from us to her.
Her breathing weaker now, and our voices
hopefully reaching through the fog in her head;
our voices the last sounds before her space-travel.
What words to send with her, if they could be heard;
our company to the threshold, and beyond;
warmth to carry into the unknown.
Spears of mountain grass bronze tipped
and edged, grading to gold, to green;
tufts splayed like ceremonial headdresses,
gleaming in the already golden sunlight,
resplendent.
Bowled over by the glories I’d missed,
with narrower eye, I see patches of azure sky
along the track, yellow-green grasses combed
smooth by rushing flood water in culverts,
silver-glinting mica in the siding rocks,
magnificent.
Beneath the mountains, the rain-reflected gleam
of low sun into my eyes is a celebration
of the bejewelled growth along the wayside,
the play of light, water and mountain breezes
dizzying, fire-working my senses into exhilaration,
and profound joy.
Love found us sleeping with multiples
of ourselves
as we divined
all of us that we are, strove towards
all we could be,
and, imagining the best we could never be,
endeavoured to be those too.
What I didn’t expect:
it all blurs.
What a rare ol’ time it was:
blurred;
what closeness:
blurred;
what excitement:
blurred.
How tight we were;
what nights we had;
what we wouldn’t have done;
what we wouldn’t have done for each other;
it blurs;
all of it blurs.
Deforestation:
another cancer-ridden lung,
its blackening tissue,
from the air,
ugly as any tumour,
as aggressive a cancer
as would cause any patient
to stop.
Tiger rests, tongue slakes flames,
zen-like in shadow patch
beneath over-arching fronds;
when earshot goes click,
eyesight opens in coin flick,
Tiger, sunlight in leaves,
silent on padded paws
muscle tide carpeted,
sense, action, being, crouched
in cave opening of eyes;
springs sheltered beneath fangs
gush bright silver streams,
Tiger turns dreamy.
imagine
the dim muddy sunlight that filters into lake water
imagine
those perfectly round, olive green leaves drifting by
trailing their spiralis stems behind them
imagine
bubbles here and there rising like nascent stars innately
aware of the presence of sky
imagine
in that place, a man drifts by, a ripple of life with a vague light
from half open eyes
imagine
his love similarly, lying on his back as they flow, her eyelids
heavy like his
imagine
the depth’s silence caressing their bodies with luxurious density
imagine
their eyes see you as they pass, but regard you as incidental as
any sight along their way
imagine
that oneness, close your eyes and think of it